自现象级英语
Rewrite techniques : Learn from peers and tutor, draw inspiration from collacations and our learning modules
雅思大作文经典题型解法（2）
题型2
原句挑错
use together改为use them together，没有宾语
更正后
Key points: The affordability is highlighted. Outdoor relaxedness is illustrated as opposed to indoor gym exercises.
picking faults
To learn: an added advantage/ bonus/ benefit, form a positive exercise attitude
Fault: cultivate 改为 cultivates 单三
picking faults
Faults：form 改为forms, both parents and kids
To learn: develop/ cultivate/ get in/ get into a habit, come as a boon
pick faults
Don’t get overwhelmed by difficulties. Focusing on daily learning and exercises. Make deliberate efforts to avoid pitfalls. Consult dictionaries when you are not sure of your word choices.
Faults: awareness of , which前与逗号空一格
Find faults
To learn: on top of=in addition to, besides, aside from, additionally
007: an extra benefit (不用复数)
Finding faults
What’s strange: a sporty temperament
To learn: foster a positive attitude
Corrections: added benefit comes, use them together
Corrections: Vaga：in leisure time改为 at leisure，additional benefit, consciousness 不当，改为awareness
琢石：kids改为children
awareness： be aware of , be mindful
consciousness: 语境：如失去意识
Justin’s rewrites
句型：Another bonus/ boon/ benefit/ advantage of this is that +clause
To learn: instill sth in sb 灌输（中性词）, instill in children a positive attitude towards exercise (sth部分过长，后置，避免头重脚轻，便于理解)
Justin’s versions, 最后一句比较书面化，学习大于实用
替换：attitude to/towards，outlook on
To learn: embrace exercise
Linking devices: this, also, apart from, when
改写句型2
To learn：limited, too..to
Corrections: raising / increasing the number of sports facilities
Innovation
To learn: too narrow, merely one of the many ways, alone, make too much of a difference , explore
“I am of the opinion” is a little too much. 文绉绉
Corrections：more sports facilities alone are not likely to
Corrections: paying（主语） attention to, an ideal method
Ling: exclusively=solely, sufficient, fully justify
To learn: such …that…
It’s not a matter of if, but when.
Corrections: mere focus on sports facilities can hardly achieve ….
Corrections: a narrow-minded and uncreative way
To learn: narrow-minded
Justin’s rewrites
To learn: it is a far too narrow approach to do, suffice, it is insufficient to do; intended, desired, expected, anticipated
Personal Review
“The essence of writing is rewriting.”
Reading through IELTS sample essays does not suffice and can hardly help us improve our writing skills. To achieve the desired results, rewriting can be adopted.
It prompts us to look into the original sentence and make mentally taxing excercises to reproduce a parallel version with equivalent effect.
During the process, we take precautions to avoid pitfalls and strive to navigate through uncertainties and changes. We get extra cautious about word choices and linking devices.
It is only when the final products are served with satisfaction that we can finally rest at ease.
